Thursday, September 6, 2018

A Mother's Journey to Wisdom



The moment I held my little bundle of joy in my arms is by far the best moment in my life. My little daughter gave a whole new meaning, dimension to my existence. She made me forget both my past and the future. I basked in the bliss of motherhood.  After a couple of years arrived my second blessing from god. The mere sight of my two little munchkins made my life complete.
 As days, weeks and months passed, slowly I realized motherhood was taking a toll on me with minimal or no external support. I realized that I was not enjoying the process as I was a few months back. Every day became an ordeal. Frustration started setting in. I sat back to think what possibly could be the reasons. That’s when it dawned that I am stuck in a rut. A feeling of nothingness had crept in. I was doing the mundane day in and day out.
My hard earned engineering degree and the extensive professional experience I had prior to my children was going down the drains. The pain my father had to go through to get me educated was turning futile.
That was when, I decided that it’s time to restart my career. I started applying for jobs, appearing for interviews, most of where I was rejected due to the career break I had.  And finally after a series of failures, I did manage to secure a job. Pumped up and excited, I sat down to work out the logistics of balancing work, home and more importantly my children. The protests from family and friends that I am doing the wrong thing by taking up a stressful IT job leaving the children at home with nannies washed out my enthusiasm. But upon some self introspection, I realized that it wasn’t just the external factors but I was battling within me. The outside elements were only worsening the already existing self doubts. It was extremely hard to decide, whether to let go of the job offer with a hefty pay cheque that came my way after an ordeal or settle at home for my children’s sake? 
 The professional, independent, educated woman in me said “taking up the job was the right thing to do, A sense of achievement is absolutely essential for one’s self esteem and only a career can give me that”. The mother in me said, “Children are blessings from God, and nothing in a woman’s life can take precedence than ensuring their well being”. I spoke to a lot of working mothers to know about it.              I was torn apart, unable to decide. I debated with my own self, contemplated and eventually, like the sunshine after days of rain, the clouds shielding my mind cleared and I realized that everyone has a different clock and It’s inappropriate to compare one’s life with another. I am the one to decide on what is important and right for me.
 I am certainly not letting my career go forever, but, at the moment I made up my mind to give my all to the children , for I was convinced that a mother’s attention during the formative years of the child is absolutely essential . Here I am happily writing this as my children play around me.
 As my hairs turn grey, I would feel more content seeing smiling pictures of my little daughters adorning the walls of my humble living room than my trophies in a plush display unit.
-

Tuesday, July 31, 2018

வாழ்த்து




குட்டி சட்டை போட்டுக்கொண்டு
எட்டி பிடிக்கும் கரத்தை விட்டு,
வெட்ட வெளியில் தட்டு தடுமாறி,
அடியெடுத்து வைக்கும் வட்ட நிலவே,

இன்னல் நிறைந்த இம்மண்ணில்,
பெண்ணாய் பிறந்த நீ,
விண்ணை முட்டும் நன்னிலை பெற,
என் கை விடுத்தாலும்  என்றும்
நம்பிக்கை விடாமல் இரு.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

                                   இள நிலை காதல் 





கடல் அலைகள் கரைக்கு சொன்ன ரகசியம் என்ன
பௌர்ணமிகள் பிறைக்கு சொன்ன ரகசியம் என்ன


அலைமோதும் எண்ணங்கள் மூச்சு முட்ட
கண் காண இடம் தனிலே கனவு நிற்க
இதழ்கள் பிளந்து கதைகள் பேசி
நிலவின் மடியில் இரவு முழுதும்
விதியாய் விடையாய் விழியன் துளியில் நீயும் நானும் !

                                                                                        (கடல் அலைகள் .....)

சாரல் மழையை வேர்கள் பருக
சேரும் பொழுதில் உயிர்கள் உருக
புவியின் விளிம்பு இதுவென கொண்டு
மரிக்கும் நொடியை மதியால் வென்று

நிலையாய் நினைவாய் கவிதை வரியாய் தொடரும் உறவு

                                                                                            (கடல் அலைகள் ...)