Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Where is my MAN ?

I keep talking to a dozen men everyday . Politics, science, religion, love, sex, philosophy, sports and what not! everything finds a place in my conversation with most of them...and when a few of the the relation ships are poised at a point , where one of us want a bit more extra from it...but a million dollar question is .. why is it that ... Always only one side wants more than the other??....well..I am not getting into the discussion as to why I sometimes refuse to take the relation ship further. Not that I cant answer but just that this stuff was not meant to talk about that. Simple question is ...why is it that you measure up to a level of a friend and nothing more in the other person's thoughts, when you really believe that the relation ship is worth going further.....
First thing that comes to my mind..."am I not that attractive" ??? ...what with all this dusky complexion..with not many "attention seeking " features?
But going by the social standards...I think I am kind of an average candidate... ;) so If that's not it..then what else???

Is it really really hard to find a perfect person ??? ...the word "perfect" has 101 connotations and when I start describing mine...all that I receive is "huh...that's too much of an expectation...that's impossible....learn to compromise on a few" and some more on those lines which I believe are not worth a mention here for obvious reasons. Well...I really beg to differ...Being perfect is just a perception...who might be an awesome hunk charactererized with super good qualities in my eyes might be an useless ,unworthy material in some one else's. As long as he rules in my heart and emotions...I am just too happy,content and satisfied...That being the case..why do people make a big hue and cry?..unfortunately the word "people" includes my parents too...some people just dont get it right... ;(

What I really don't understand is that "Is love such a rare commodity?" or love clubbed with a lot of other commodities(read qualities) is rare?? But I am not eccentric.... because most of which I want/expect is on similar lines with majority of girls/women.....All that I want is selfless love which is passionate and unconditional..... and more importantly sensible(I think this is where the problem lies) ... After all sensibility comes when there is a strong foundation built with mutual respect for each others thoughts..... (Is it a sin to expect one to respect my thoughts?)

If its that hard...and If that requires me to wait for more time..Let me go on..

I am in no hurry to tie the unsatisfied knot at 25 . Rather will wait until 45 to make the knot more meaningful than being materialistic...

At the end of the day...I want to tell myself..."The WAIT WAS WORTH IT"

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Are we really Indepenadent?

When the corporates go "gaga" over this independance day stuff, when schools and colleges gear up for the flag hoisting cermony, when government organisations overdo the happenings with political and commericial flavours..

I keep wondering how real and true is all this....

What are we celebrating...."the independence" or just a day??

If its the former,then loads of things come flooding into my mind...
do we really live in an independant world ?...well..I am defntly not talking about bomb blasts..relgious calamities...government policies..socio-economic values ...etc.., Its just independence at the personal,emotional and spiritual levels.....

How Independently can I decide what I want to do..and how I want to live... .Well again..there is nothing like "going against the tide stuffs"...very simple..what liberty do "I" as an individual have to decide what to do and what not to.....

All of us are so dependant on each other in every other aspect of life....
Things are so interwoven that its too hard or unconventional to untangle them and survive as a single entity...

Would rather appreciate if Independance is seen as a way of life than a commodity....

..All said,

if its the latter...then..what the heck..I dont care.. ;)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


In a life so uncertain, with loads of surprises awaiting you every day, every minute ,every second, you see a streak of light coming from no where to show you the nicest things that life has to offer, to make you feel the value of your presence in the tenure, to let you understand the essence of just living, to shower all happiness on you, to tell you that you will be the best today, tomorrow and forever......what more could you ask for.. if that light comes to you in the form of your sibling....?????

To an extraordinary, intelligent girl who is so selfless, so understanding, so loving and yet so brilliant...
The love of my life

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

KNOTS in tying the knot....

your parents think you are "stupid"
your friends think you are "insane"
your relatives think you are "dumb"

If you say "I want to remain unmarried "

more so if you are girl
What possibly could be the problems if a girl remains unmarried...well ..parents with their so called rich experience in life say..."you wont need anyone now..but at one point in time, you might feel you need a person"..agreed! and I ask, "then why dont I marry when I actually start feeling lonley...mmm?" (they think of an answer).."right we agree...but you might not get anyone at that point in time coz you ll get old" ..mmmmmmmm(I am thinking now) " we get good companions only when we are young..? you become less saleable in the marriage market..if you lose your so called age" ( I understand what exactly the word "age" means... ;)) and phat comes the answer...."you might not be able to have children"...huh...what the f**k? ..Is it all about getting married , sleeping with a man/woman...(come on..its so important coz u need to have children).....and then become a mother/father...that way your life would be complete(complete and for whom?)
After all start searching for the so called companion ship....(jobless phase in the life cycle of marriage) start hunting for life....

So is this what expected out of a typical marriage in our society?.....I am not very sure...but cant think of a worser system.

Friday, September 5, 2008

If only I can leave you.....

If only I can leave you..

I can write with my left hand
I can fight with my mouth shut

If only I can leave you..

I can float in the air
I can swim on the land

If only I can leave you..

I can wear a mini skirt
I can bear a 50'C temperature

If only I can leave you..

I can walk with my hands
I can talk with my nose

If only I can leave you..

I can think non sense
I can drink bread

If only I can leave you..

I can live for two hundred years
I can love lizards and cockroaches

But ....

I cannot leave you....
simply becoz I love you...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

To that "HE" it goes all the way from my heart!!

"HE" showed his intelligence, without discussing my stupidity
"HE" showed his dominance, without hurting my ego
"HE" showed his selflessness without proving my selfishness
"HE" showed his patience without questioning my anger

"HE" fought with me but did not hurt me
"HE" cared for me but did not pamper me
"HE" questioned me but did not command me

"HE" ..................
made me feel beautiful , made me feel ugly
made me feel stupid, made me feel wise
made me feel simple ,made me feel complicated
made me feel ecstatic ,made me feel dumb
made me feel my feminity, made me forget it :)
made me "love" made me "hate"
There always existed an "Unspoken Understanding" between us that was as beaufiful as the sunshine after days of rain......

Friday, February 8, 2008

Emotional Immunity...I wish I had it

So..Why is it that people take us for granted jus like that...what makes them do it??? becoz they think they have the skills to do anything and get away with it?? thats the are we suppose to react to that?? ...1. Use all obscenities on earth...despise them...and leave it at that??? or 2. give it back hardly.....or 3. jus shrug ur shoulders saying " some r not worth my anger or..emotions"...and forget it.......Thing is i feel like doing all of them...but..unfortunately..I only end up crying feeling sorry for my own self.....crib for sometime and forget it...the number of resolutions that comes to my mind at that point in time is countless...But....I am sure..I wont be following any of them..what the heck???.....But..I keep wishing that I remain really really immune to all that...But cant help myself... :) :( .....I am certain that I would definetely come over this crap some day...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

chikku ....bukku...Train of thoughts!!!

Sometimes...I keep wondering about the co-incidental yet eccentric beauty of the chain of thoughts and the awesome flow they have...Like..I was sitting in a meeting room which was supposed to be really official...and there my thoughts started drifting..and out of no where, I started thinking about Charminar.....I was like.trying to figure to what is it..that took me all the way to Charminar from the meeting room :) went on like this...."Boring Meeting..Will meetings be like this everywhere?....shud be the same across all IT companies...Infosys....My frnd works for Infosys posted in Hyderabad......Hyderabad City....Charminar"....there you go!!! :)....This is kind of really really intersting and I have always enjoyed doing this.....and I pat myself If I am able to get to the root thing....If I dont, I keep thinkin about it so much.....and that by itself leads to yet another new chain of thoughts.....As I love spending a lot of time in solitude, this kind of keeps me going most of the times...and the very strange aspect of relating the most unrelated what fascinates me so much... :)...
Wanted to share this whimsical fascination...... :)

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

What the hell is "It?

Its eccentric to learn, that we go behind things which we are sure is not ours....I most of the times keep thinking/rethinking as to what is it that drives one behind something...with a completely sane understanding that it doesn't belong to us.......but I end up..with no answer most of the times.....what can be It?? is it because of the abundant love you have towards it...or is it because of the tailor made ego that doesn't let you realise your stupidity....or is it due to the momentary pleasure you get thinking/imagining that you own it.....Be it anything...I simply hate it...and I think of ways of not loving it...Well...the intentional feeling makes me..want it more than..avoiding it :).....I wish I could reason out most of my needs..unfortunately..I cant..or I dont...probably..I am scared of self-realisation..after all we are all human beings and we want to believe in things..that we like....and the more we believe we start living with it (Even if its jus the thought).....

Well, at this point, It would make more sense to define, what is it that we actually think when we say..that we want "something" to be ours....(be it materialistic or otherwise)...Is it an obsession that "it" should belong only to "ME"..or is it a feeling that "I would wnat to have more rights over it"....or "I like it , so I want it".....Well, I am unable to come to a sensible rather acceptable conclusion...(I always believe that not all that makes sense is acceptable)...Whatever it is...Hell with "it"...and I dont care as long as I want to be that way...

I realised that I would conclude this way, even before I thought I ll write something just that!!